My sincere apologies for not responding all day yesterday; I felt really tired following the chemotherapy and had to go to bed early. When I woke up this morning and saw this unbelievable response and love from all of you out there I started crying for the first time in a very long time, and my heart was filled with hope. To all of you thousands of people who have written to me – I thank you from the bottom of my heart and will do my utmost to respond to each and every one of you!
I want to extend a big thanks to Swedish news magazines Aftonbladet, Expressen, Veckorevyn, and Nyheter24 for sharing my story and helping me raise awareness of this madness.
This morning has been filled with blood tests, dental checks (to prevent infections), meetings with specialist doctors, nurses, nutritionists and physiologists who have tried to inform and prepare me for the nightmare I am now stepping into. Not only will I be constantly having cell toxins running through my blood, but I am to take over 50 pills on a daily basis, in order to survive. I feel so afraid and worried for my life right now. I don’t feel like I deserve to die just yet, I have so much more to do and so many goals to fulfil. I keep asking myself Why me out of all people? I don’t deserve this and nobody else for that matter!
But I am firm a believer in that one must always try and smile through life, and I will try to do the same throughout this journey. As promised, I am going to document this whole War On Cancer-journey. Attached are a few shots from the first chemotherapy session yesterday, and a picture from this morning the moment when I realized how many people I have behind me backing me on this journey.
Once again, thank you all for all your support and love. I’m going to fight for my life to survive this.
(Original and unedited blog posts written by Fabian Bolin in 2015 when diagnosed by cancer.)